29 Jun 2016

The First Session




On Monday 20th June 2016 I had my first ever therapy session, for my mental health.


I had been putting it off for a while, as actually sitting there and talking about my feelings and thoughts face to face, terrifies me.


I had asked my very very good friend Lynne for help finding somewhere I'd be comfortable going to, and she had found a place, in which the meetings take place over the phone. Which is utterly perfect for me.

The first thing that was required was an introduction, to both the sessions and to the lady that would be holding them.

The woman who'll be helping me through my next steps in this journey is named Amy.
She's a very lovely lady and made me feel very much at ease and comfortable.

At the beginning of each session, you're required to answer a series of questions.

All based your the last two weeks (I have a session every two weeks)
You answer these questions with;

 Not at all, Several days, More than half the days and nearly every day.

I found that after the introduction session (two weeks later) that my scores had already gone down, only slightly but still it shows improvement.



So... During my first proper session, we spoke about my feelings throughout the weeks prior, explained why these things happened and talked about life.
We then moved on to something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT for short, which in layman's terms is learning how both thoughts and emotions connect to your physical and mental behaviour I.E
If you feel like you cannot do something, so you panic and feel ashamed, therefore you don't try to do it, and that cycle repeats.

It's all about changing the way you think about things.

To show this I was asked to take part in an activity called " My Hot Cross Bun" - rather silly name, but it works!

Example below...


After we spoke about this we moved out to the area of Sleep paralysis / night terror.

I have been suffering with these since before I can remember and I've been researching them just as long, to find a reason that explained it and made me feel "normal"

To my surprise Amy had found something myself and doctors have not.

"Hypnagogic Hallucinations"

We went through the site together and came up with ways I could normalise the figure that visits my dreams. 
We spoke about how treating this figure as something scary would make me feel worse but if I tried to view it in a different light such as treating it at something that's just waking me up, or even realising that it's not real. Would completely normalise it.
We also spoke about how this only seems to happen when I'm stressed or anxious and how it may never actually go away, but that everyone experiences at least once in their life.

It's fair to say I feel one thousand times better after this hour session, and this is just the first one!

I urge anyone who is suffering in silence or who feels completely alone and lost, who doesn't know what to do next.
Go to your doctor, Try and get help. 



Here're some helpful links 
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Counselling
http://www.mind.org.uk/
www.insighthealthcare.org
http://patient.info/doctor/hypnagogic-hallucinations



What are you're thoughts on the help available for mental health?
What would you suggest to someone struggling with their mental health?

28 Jun 2016

Life Hack - Chafing


Hello All, and welcome to my first life hack post!


For all of us out there who don't have the ever loved thigh gap, but would like to wear a dress or skirt without feeling the impending doom of CHAFING, keep reading.


For those of you who may not know what chafing is, I took to google for you and got an explanation;

Chafing - refers to the irritation of the skin caused by repetitive friction, usually generated through the skin to skin contact of multiple body parts.


I've done my research on this as it's something I struggle with myself.

There are a few different thing you can buy to help with this.

From applying talc powder to your thighs to using a face primer or even spending a high amount of money on little shorts to wear under your dress.

But let's face it, it's a lot of effort and as a lazy person I don't want to do that, nor do I want to spend money of tight fitting shorts that are going to cause me to become hotter.

My solution? TIGHTS

and no I'm not saying just wear full-blown tights for the rest of your life, free your legs.

Cut the tights to the length you need, I tend to cut up to 3/4 inches above the knee.

This will stop the chafing. and not make you too warm in the summer heat, but it's also pretty cheap.

you can get cheap tights from anywhere - Primark is my favourite.

You can also just use your old laddered tights, I mean who's going to see them?


So there you have it 


What are your favourite life hacks?
Would you use this one?


23 Jun 2016

The Revamp

I'm not sure if you'll have noticed but, I have spent the last few week revamping all of my social media.


It all started when I was looking through my Instagram feed, I noticed that my newer photos looked great and the represented what I'm all about. The older ones, however, just looked like they were thrown on there.

Which is not aesthetically pleasing to me.

So what did Natalie do? She deleted everything that was not from this year.

Obviously, I saved the photo's that meant a lot to me, and most of them are uploaded onto my personal facebook if I ever need them.

I felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders, and since then I've been getting compliments about how nice my page looked. I know that's not a massively huge thing for everyone but you know, I spent time creating that.


After this, I took to twitter and deleted nearly everything (which wasn't much as I don't really use twitter - this will change!) I update the profile photos and changed the banner.
Tumblr also got a little revamp, but that was just deleting photos and shares, like old Instagram uploads.


I'm so much happier with house everything looks now and I'd be REALLY grateful if you'd all take a look 


www.instagram.com/natalieleanne
www.twitter.com/NatalieeLeannee
www.natalieleanneobrien.tumblr.com


What do you think about deleting things?
Do you like the new look?


20 Jun 2016

The 13 Personal Questions Tags



Hello and welcome back! I was searching round the internet and came across this tag! So I thought 
"why not?"
I tag everyone who reads this.




1. What do you order at Starbucks?

I'm not the most adventurous person when it comes to drinks (unless they're alcoholic).
but I do like a good old Caramel Macchiato . But if it's even slightly warm outside I opt for a Caramel Cream Frappuccino (with out the whipped cream). However I do enjoy the new Smores Frap!


2. What's one thing in your closet you can't live without?

Can I pick two options? Black tights and a Black dress. Regardless of what the weather is like. 


3. What's one thing that most people don't know about you?

When I was in secondary school, I was the quietest person ever! (unlike now). I also tend do dwell on things too much, despite the carefree attitude people think I have.


4. What's one thing you want to do before you die?

You know I've never really sat down and thought about this... I do just normally go with the flow. But I guess everyone has a bucket list right? 
I'd absolutely love to swim with sharks, perhaps even befriend one and ride off in to the sunset with him (I'd call him Bruce)
I also want to travel more, paint my own house white, learn how to shabby chic things.


5. What's one food you can't live without?

My first thought was pizza and donuts.... but when I tactfully thought on it, I realised I actually live on microwavable noodles.


6. What's one quote that you live your life by?

There's actually two.
"Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance" this is from a play i believe and in my mind it basically means, just keep trying, keep moving forward, you'll get where you want to be eventually!
And also the ever popular
 "Do more or what makes you happy" 
I think that one pretty much speaks for itself.


7. What do you like and dislike about the YouTube/Online community?

Honestly I'm sadly not that much involved as I went a bit MIA for a while, but from my understanding and knowledge I'd have to say It's the trolls or the negative people. If you don't like what you're watching or reading click the X button, you don't need to post something horrid. We all should be supporting each other not spreading hate.


8. What's your number 1 song on your iPod/iTunes? 

I swear my Spotify get's hounded every single day, honestly the most played song is likely some pretty little cover by Daniela Andrade / Jasmine Thompson / Noah Guthrie.
We cannot forget the WHOLE Crybaby album, though. Melanie, why are you so perfect?


9. What kind of style would you describe yourself as having?

Black. Yup. If its black I'll wear it.
Seriously though I live in black dresses tights, heels, and a black jacket.
They represent my soul.. haha.


10. Favourite number? 
13.


11. Two hobbies?

If you asked my boyfriend this he'd say moaning. But it's shopping for make up and applying make up. I just find them both so therapeutic. Regardless of the damage it does to my bank account.


12. Two pet peeves?

Eating loud/making noises whilst eating. If you do that, please don't! Just stop.
"I'm not being funny but..." "no offence but..." you do mean offence and you are being funny. Stop.


13. Your guilty pleasure?
Donuts. I know I'm on a diet but 12 aren't going to harm me.
They make me happy OK?
They're pretty and they taste good.



What do you think about tag posts? 
What kind of posts would you like to see from me?


8 Jun 2016

Trip to London


At the end of April myself and a few others took a nice little trip to London to see the amazing Melanie Martinez!

It's fair to say I had an utterly amazing time, just what I needed.

my partner and I allowed ourselves to spend and do what ever we wanted,

as it was our first trip away for a while , that meant shopping and food.

We booked to stay in a beautiful apartment.





How stunning is that I'll leave the link here for any of you that would like to visit.

https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/9527125?checkin=26-04-2016&checkout=28-04-2016&guests=4&s=_DOTTSxd


After we settled we decided to venture in to London. 

The day of the gig we were walking round trying to find a nice place to eat, we ended up in an Angus beef house place, and were served by the most lovely man ever, he may have taken selfies with us.












We then walked around more, I must admit I did end up almost running in to Lush on Oxford street and spent nearly 30 

minuets in there and the contents of my bank account.












Then we ended up in Mac Cosmetics, at this point let me tell you that I may no in fact I do have the best boyfriend in the world (sorry guys)

It all started with him saying I could have that lipstick I've been wanting since November 2015 (matte royal), the sales lady was very good at her job and I ended up with a whole new base as well as the matching liner for the lipstick.







After this it was a mad rush home to coat ourselves in cute things and glitter, only to get caught in a London downpour, thankfully we made it to the show with 10 seconds to spare.


Melanie was unbelievable, she was far better than I thought she was going to be, and even that was a high standard, I may have fallen in love.


when the concert was over we all met up with our friend Max and venture to a gay bar at had a fun, energetic end to the night.








P.S were going to see Melanie nearer to the end of the year - I may even vlog it. 


Do you LOVE Crybaby?
What is your favourite place in London?


Life Update

Hello all...


It's been a rather long time since I've given an update or even blogged properly.


Since April I've taken the first steps in to seeking help with my mental health situation. 

Which is why I felt the need to take a step back from social media as a whole really.
Sometimes we need that break.

I wasn't happy with anything I was doing or the content I was uploading.

But I'm back now, I'm not a 100% yet but I'm getting there.

I'm very lucky to have such an amazing group of friends and family around me that have been there for me at all times, day or night.


I'm currently going through the process of editing and deleting things on my social media, Instagram has already completed it's transformation, and I'm so much happier with it.

You can most certainly expect the same thing from my blog and also my YouTube , when I get round to it.


7 Jun 2016

The Age of Internet.


“Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” Benjamin Disraeli


Recently I've found myself in the comments sections on everything from YouTube to friends Facebook sites. 
Although a lot of the comments are absolutely lovely and most are unbelievable supportive and kind, you always come across those "no offence but" "I'm not being funny but", or even just general nasty comments, and i find myself wondering. Why?

Why do people go out of their way to hurt others and make them feel terrible or a lack of self worth?

When this subject gets raised online, it's full of people experiences yet, it's also full of "Well you've put yourself online so you should expect these kinds of comments", really? Should a person expect to be called ugly? or stupid? The correct answer is no.

More and more cyber and bullying as a whole (yes bullying is what this is) seem to becoming more and more frequent.

I find myself asking why? even though i already know the answer.

We live in a world where people can hide behind anonymous.


The crazy thing is instead of tackling this subject, there are websites created to slag of YouTube, to talk about people personal lives,  people leaking phone numbers and hacking pages...

You can do whatever you want, and face next to no consequences.

I just wonder why people would take time out to do these things.

What do you get out of attacking someone? nothing

What do you get out of being a good supportive nice person? self worth, gratitude, friendship....

I'm a strong believer of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it.

If you're not enjoying a video, don't watch it.

If you don't like a photo, don't look at it.

If you feel you need to address something, there are ways and means to do that without coming across hateful.

Spread joy and happiness, not negativity and hate.




6 Jun 2016

Getting To Know You - Tag




1. Do you have any pets?

I have a dog called Max (he's a cute little staffie)
I did have a goldfish named Nappa but he recently passed on 

2. Name 3 things physically close you you.

Iphone, Tape Measure (i have no idea why), Raspberry Sours 

3. Whats the weather like right now?

Cold, but warm, but windy. I live in the UK we get all the seasons in one day.

4. Do you drive, if so have you crashed?

I was learning but I found I didn't really enjoy it. 

5. What time did you wake up this morning?

Around 8/9 am thanks to my other half.

6. When was the last time you showered?

Yesterday

7. what was the last movie you saw

X-men Apocalypse 

8. What does your last SMS / text message say.

"Luuuuuuul" - I'm getting laughed at because I'm working this weekend 

9. What is your ring-tone?

The Iphone ringtone

10. Have you ever been to a different country?

I have indeed ( Bulgaria , Barcelona, Magaluf , Tunisia and Prague )

11. Do you like sushi?


Never tried it ( likely wouldn't FUSSY EATER )

12. where do you buy your groceries?


Anywhere that's close,

13. Have you ever taken medication to fall asleep?


I have - sleeping tablets but they didn't work 

14. How many Siblings do you have?


One - a sister 

15. Do you have a desktop or Laptop?


Both 

16. How old will you be on your next birthday?

24 - Cry 

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?

Glasses 

18. Do you colour your hair?

Blonde highlights

19. Tell me something your planning on doing today?

Blogging. duh

20. When was the last time you cried?


Like everyday?

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?

Pepperoni 

22. Which do you prefer Hamburgers or cheese burgers?

Cheese burgers 

23. Have you ever had an all nighter?


almost every other night 

24. What is your eye colour?

one is greeny/blue and the other is brown 

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?


yes Coke is vile Pepsi is beautiful 

4 Jun 2016

High End Vs Drug Store

 I was sat in my room browsing my Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and all my other social media pages, and one quote or picture of a quote kept popping in to my newsfeed "Why would you go for a "collection" girl when you've got a Mac girl at home" - or something along those lines.

This forced me to read the comments, as well as the fact that I'm slightly obsessed with make-up, and I am also IN LOVE with the collection lasting perfection concealer - as I am sure the rest of the beauty world is (It's amazing)

Now the comments on these posts ranged from makeup artists to makeup artist in training to just people who like make up. All they were doing was SLATING these cheaper make up ranges, claiming that they would only use high end products on clients, or that because something costs £1 its terrible (MUA EYESHADDOWS)

Well, I BEG TO DIFFER.

As much as I absolutely adore Mac and all these other high end make up brands (trust me I get that longing look in my eyes when I walk past a makeup counter and my boyfriend/friends have to practically drag me away before I spend all my wages) I can say that not only do these Cheap/Drugstore items offer amazing products but some in fact nearly all have at least one or two dupes for a high end product.

Take for example Chanels "SOLEIL TAN DE CHANEL"
 http://www.chanel.com/en_GB/fragrance-beauty/Makeup-Bronzers-SOLEIL-TAN-DE-CHANEL-95742 

And then compare it to Bourjois Paris - "BRONZING PRIMER"
 http://www.bourjois.co.uk/catalog/make_up/complexion/enhancer/bronzing_primer

Are they both not almost identical, yes the Chanel one is bigger and looks more appealing, but if it’s something that works just as well or in fact better would you not go for the cheaper option? Correct me if I’m wrong but doesn't Chanel own Bourjois Paris (or at least aren't they a parent company?)

 As I said previously, I love Mac  and I own a lot of Mac products but whenever it comes to me putting my concealer on I rarely ever touch my Mac one, I always go for my Maybelline fit me concealer or my collection lasting perfecting ( I wear the lightest shade in both).

As for MUA cosmetics, they are cheap yes, and some of their products leave me disappointed ( the matte lipsticks ) but I cannot put any shame in their single £1 eyeshades. I think they're amazing for the price and in fact they are better than some higher priced ones I have used. I think when it all comes down to it we can't really judge a product on its price or brand name, Mac have had fails and so have collection but they both also have amazing products.


 Don’t judge a product on its brand name judge it on its performance.


 Do let me know what you all think about this "cheaper V expensive" battle.

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