Hi my name is Natalie and I suffer with anxiety.
I have had anxiety for as long as I remember, it had started in secondary school likely because girls that age are so obsessed with how they look and which boys they have to impress and how they won't fit in if they don't dress the right way. Well I was never in any "clicks" not for the lack of trying, I just never really fit in with a crowd. As a child I had always felt so alone, and I had never told anyone about this, in fact my mother has only just recently found out about this.
My anxiety has resulted in me having insomnia - I cannot remember the last time I had a full good night's sleep.
I spend most of my nights sat awake regretting the decisions I had made throughout the day/week/month/years. "what if I didn't say that" "does that person hate me?".
Over-thinking or jumping to bad conclusions is likely one of the worst things about anxiety, this has actually stopped me leaving the house before, due to being too worried about what people were going to think of me or even worrying about who's going to be there and I know myself that I am not good with confrontation.
One of the questions always asked about anxiety is "well how does it feel", which is such a hard question to answer and one I have struggled with for a long time.
The best way to describe it would be " It's like drowning, but there's no surface" or "drowning on air"
it is such a weird sensation.
It can sometimes be a "wall" blocking you, not a realistic wall but an invisible mental wall, one so high it's so hard to get over or through.
It becomes even hard when there is someone on the other end "ordering" you to jump over it.
Now whilst I do understand that anxiety is hard for someone who doesn't suffer from it to understand, when you say things like
"just get over it"
"forget about it"
"nobody thinks that way"
This doesn't help - at all, in fact it actually makes things worse, we know you're trying to help but don't you think that if we could just forget about something and move on, we would have already done it? You may be pushing too hard.
On another note "I have been through that", "I know how you feel", "oh I am so sorry" - you do not know how I or anyone else feels, each person experiences this differently again yes you are trying to help, but there is a fine line between being sympathetic and pitying someone to being empathetic and being there for someone.
I do not want you to feel sorry for me I do not want your pity - not to be ungrateful but that will only make me feel bad, like you are throwing away what I'm saying to you or like you don't care and I'm bothering you.
I need someone to be there yes but not to sit there and say "poor baby" I'm not a child, I just want you to understand and respect what I'm going through, that's what will help, knowing you are there because you want to be, not because you have to be. Do something along those lines and those evil thoughts in the persons head or that pounding stabbing pain in that persons chest might just go away.
To lighten things up here's some comics on anxiety, some are pretty funny, they might give you more of an insight.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/comics-that-capture-the-frustration-of-anxiety-disorders
Take is seriously, It is a mental illness, be there for someone and they will no doubt be there for you.
